{"id":24881,"date":"2023-02-28T08:13:03","date_gmt":"2023-02-28T15:13:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/rodbinder.com\/journal\/?p=24881"},"modified":"2023-03-09T22:46:57","modified_gmt":"2023-03-10T05:46:57","slug":"feb-28-5","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/rodbinder.com\/journal\/2023\/02\/28\/feb-28-5\/","title":{"rendered":"Feb 28 This Shit is Broken"},"content":{"rendered":"

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Erma Bombeck<\/strong><\/p>\n

“That shit is broken” words spoken by me, everytime, I try to move or stretch to reach for something, or try to rollover or get out of bed. Every movement or even sitting still there is pain 24\/7.<\/p>\n

Muscles, bones, joints, lungs, heart, nerve endings, stomach, intestines, kidneys, brain add everything else, cause it all hurts all the time. Oh ya there is my back, reported to me as broken by the bad surgeon that destroyed my neck and throat but ignored. Lifting just lifting my broom causes pain, sweeping is agonizing.<\/p>\n

I live with it, I can’t say I am used to it. I am never looking for sympathy it is just not me. I could take pain killers and support the disgusting pharma companies, but I won’t.<\/p>\n

I could see more of the doctors that do nothing about it. The ones that lie on medical forms, that ones that constantly cancel my appointments to give me results of tests that are almost impossible to get done.<\/p>\n

Nope tired of that. There is more the night sweats have started 3 nights in a row now.<\/p>\n

I just sawed all the wood I had gathered yesterday. That was getting harder to do.
\n\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I still needed to go out and dig in deep solid snow to find more in a few minutes.<\/p>\n

I keep worrying I might run out, but so far I keep finding enough. Definitely the work of a guardian angel. Although I am sure taking care of me must be a great burden.<\/p>\n

Thank you for your help.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a> \"\"<\/a> \"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Just went out for wood twice, snow once.<\/p>\n

I found the heaviest nasty 2×12 nailed to a 2×4 covered in ice and snow, full of big saw killing 3 inch spikes. It must of weighed more than me. 14 feet long.<\/p>\n

I brought that in and went back for more, so glad I filled the snow bowl first. I was starting to zombie shuffle, with noises.<\/p>\n

The snow bowl was extra heavy with a cat dish full on top. It was all inside now.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

The cats bowls were filled with snow and put on top of the woodstove. The monster board was sawn in half to better fit in the fire room. I even cut off a chunk to put in the fire right now.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Hell board<\/p><\/div>\n

The pain earlier was just fore shadowing for what I felt now. My kettle near boiling was almost ready to take away. I couldn’t move.<\/p>\n

I had numbness down my entire right arm. Even typing this was difficult.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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First chunk of hellboard buring in my hell.<\/p><\/div>\n

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The other half of hellboard<\/p><\/div>\n