{"id":32812,"date":"2025-01-07T21:39:12","date_gmt":"2025-01-08T04:39:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/rodbinder.com\/journal\/?p=32812"},"modified":"2025-01-10T20:49:55","modified_gmt":"2025-01-11T03:49:55","slug":"jan-8-pain","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/rodbinder.com\/journal\/2025\/01\/07\/jan-8-pain\/","title":{"rendered":"Jan 8 Pain"},"content":{"rendered":"

If you feel the pain you are alive. If you can feel other people’s pain, you are a human being.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Leo Tolstoy<\/p>\n

My sunny day is here. Solar panels are producing. My batteries were at 23 percent I seem to remember that at 20 percent there is no power.<\/p>\n

The pain and fatigue is worse. It is centered around my chest, but I am feeling random jolts of extreme pain in random parts of my body. Never twice and in wierd places, a fingertip one time a toe another, a muscle in my calf. There is also the ever present pain in my lungs, kidneys, knees, ankle, eyeballs,shoulder and bowels.<\/p>\n

Last night I had a dream about a favorite deceased cat, Deakes. She was happy and I was happy to see her. It was so real. I don’t have an idea why. Lots of different theories on the internet. I still have her daughter, her turn to leave is coming. She has lost a lot of weight and is moving around with difficulty. I have always had a soft spot for her she was born blind in one eye.
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The cats that are alive were all fed and watered this morning. I am making coffee and that is as far as I got.<\/p>\n

I was making a great amount of electricity through the solar panels, then it almost stopped. It stopped because the sun is so low in the sky my house covers it in shadow. I knew this, at least I knew last January.<\/p>\n

While I was making twenty amps, I decided to play a little xbox. During that time My piece of crap Bluetti decided to suddenly drop from 46% full to zero in a microsecond.<\/p>\n

It took almost all I had gained to refill that. I am at 30% full on my solar batteries. That would get me through tonight.<\/p>\n

I checked the forecast for tomorrow, partly cloudy in the morning, snow, ice and freezing rain in the afternoon. I need gasoline and all my grocery orders are in at the post office. About four hundred pounds worth. Walking was out.<\/p>\n

The truth is walking to the end of the driveway was difficult. Dragging 400 pounds of groceries 4 miles after a four mile walk in deep snow was impossible.<\/p>\n

There was no one I could call.<\/p>\n