The only antidote to mental suffering is physical pain.
Karl Marx
I went out to cut more wood, wet heavy wood. I picked up the last log to be cut, and I felt something snap in my lower back. The pain was overwhelming. It only hurt when I moved. I still had to load my sled, still had to cut the last log.
I screamed a little, got it done. Then came pulling that heavy load down the driveway. I got to my halfway point and rested a bit. Then continued on. I stopped to cut a few skinny logs that fell off yesterday and added them to the load. By the time I got to the door, the load was over 400 pounds.
As I opened the door, the most prolific female cat I had, ran outside. It was a disaster. I didn”t need more kittens.
I hauled the logs inside, it took more effort and pain than I want to talk about. I decided the cat that escaped was staying outside. I also decided I was not fetching snow for melt, for the cats. I had enough. I am in my bed now, I can hardly move.
Unfortunately the gen was still running. I would eventually have to go out there to retrieve it.
The time came. Cats needed feeding, they needed water, the fire needed feeding. It took me 5 minutes just to stand up.
I started with the gen. While I was out there, I called for the missing cat from the back door. Before I finished calling, it ran inside. No-fuss no muss, it just came in. I shut down the gen, got it inside.
Next was the fire, I got down on bended knee and filled it with what I could reach. Heavy wet wood. I didn’t think it would light, but it was still warm out.
Cats got fed and watered. I slowly made it back to my bed. I did forget to get some supper. I did have peanuts and oranges within reach, they would have to do.
I knew I wouldn’t make it out of bed again today.
Update: 1:20 AM
So far no sleep, just pain. No fire, just a stove full of wet logs. I couldn’t deal with restarting the fire. Which would have meant removing all the wet wood, chopping some dry wood and starting anew.
It was an ordeal just getting downstairs to have a look. I also learned to drink less
Figure that out.
I really don’t like pharma, but I remembered the last time I had my back seize up. That time was much worse. I had to crawl to my van downstairs and drive to the hospital. I was given a muscle relaxant. I just found the bottle and took one. Just like last time I took just one, with no intention to take another.
I looked up the side effects and who should not take them. I was sorry I did, probably like last time.
I am back in my bed again, binge-watching a crime drama. Morning couldn’t come soon enough.
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