TEMPUS CHAPTER THIRTY
I am convinced that UFOs exist because I have seen one.
President Jimmy Carter
“Lorelei it’s time to go shopping?”
“Oh okay, Husband I will get changed,” She said.
“Gun shopping wife.”
“Even better what year are we going to?”
“2011 first to see Jimmy.”
“Good year for Gold Cristian?”
“I have such an intelligent wife. We can place some orders for equipment and pick them up in the future.”
“I would guess we are taking the Retribution? The scientists renamed the captured Reptile ship.”
“Good name. Yes M2 is also coming along.”
“Did you have him change his face?”
“Yes sweetie now he looks more like a muscle-bound biker in a suit, complete with tribal tats on his neck.”
“Like a bodyguard? Perfect that will be a little easier to explain than Dirty Harry.”
The retribution didn’t smell like reptile anymore it smelled of pine, “It smells better in here.” Lorelei pointed at an evergreen-shaped car freshener.
“Too funny just missing the fuzzy dice.”
Lorelei reached into a compartment and produced a pair of those too, and hung them from a cheap plastic stick-on hook that seemed to be placed for such an object.
“Perfect.”
The ship now worked just like the Ascalon. The flight controls had been removed and the side door had been changed to a ramp. This ship was a lot bigger than the Ascalon. It now had seating for four sitting upright plus a cargo area big enough for two Exterminators and gear.
Cristian noticed that there were a few guns mounted inside. Along with a couple of vests and long jackets. He could see his sword hanging from a hook beside Lorelei.
Good, he thought, you never know. He had made sure that he had his armour on under his jeans and the black t-shirt the scientists had made for him. The t-shirt had a picture of a Lizard surrounded by a circle with a line through the centre. He loved the shirt.
He looked over at his wife She was wearing a loose-fitting flowered dress over her armour with her boots. The armour looked like black tights under the dress. She wore her long red hair in braids. She was stunning. The dress did little to hide the bulge now more noticeable. He noticed that the only makeup she wore was some bright red lipstick and dark eye shadow. She really didn’t need any.
“I like the dark eye shadow Wife. If we didn’t have company I would stop at Mars and take you on the hood of the car.”
“If we didn’t have company Husband I would already have left red lipstick all over that bulge you are sporting under your armour.”
“Right” He took a deep breath and headed out to 2011. They were carrying a thousand pounds of gold in five bags.
“First stop Pawnshop Jimmy’s.”
“Cristian did you ever pay for our rings?”
“I think I did. I am not sure?” without feeling the least bit schizophrenic he said,” Yes one of me paid him.”
The trip went quietly without the sex that both of them wanted to have. There would be a time for that later.
“We are approaching Kamloops Cristian.”
“Thanks, Watcher.”
“Lorelei we are here.”
“We can try out the new imager in the parking garage next to Jimmy’s.
“Watcher?”
“There is no one currently on this level.” They flew into level three of the parking structure.
“Great do the thing.”
The ship changed from invisible to the perfect likeness of a dented and rusted 1992 GMC Safari van. He noticed the torn bumper sticker that said I STOP FOR ALL ALIENS.
“No one will want to try to break into that piece of crap. Good job Watcher. Great detail. Let’s get the gold down to Jimmy’s. 2 if can you handle four bags I will take the last one.”
“Can you handle that Husband? I would not want you to get damaged.”
“I brought a dolly Wife, thanks for asking.”
They brought the bags of Gold into the shop and went to the back where Jimmy’s office was. Two large men blocked his entrance. “Jimmy is busy.”
“He is never too busy to see me.” Cristian tried to walk past him.
The man that did the talking, pushed Cristian backwards.
“You should not ever touch my Husband like that” Said the five-foot-three-high Redhead.
“Or what bitch?”
“Oh-oh ” Cristian winced a little waiting for hell to rain down.
“Cristian did you want me to take them out?” asked Watcher.
“No Watcher I got this, 2 we will handle this,” he said over the interface.
Lorelei walked up to the one who called her a bitch. Without notice, she bent over at the waist and scorpion kicked him in the face. Hitting him square in the nose then she launched straight up on invisible springs, spun around and dropped him to the floor with a kick to his temple.
“I am not a bitch just a little hormonal asshole,” she said to him. The other one headed straight at Cristian who just pulled out a device that shot wires and electricity at his opponent and dropped him to the floor. The big guy was dancing the chicken on the floor with the wires still attached.
“Husband, what the hell was that?”
“Something the scientists gave me to try. I forgot I have one for you.”
“You could have given me that before I broke that man’s nose Husband.”
“No sweetie, you were poetry in motion. That was worth the trip here.”
“Thanks, Husband.” she smiled a little at the admiration.
The three of them walked into Jimmy’s office.
“Jimmy, how are you?”
A girl popped her head out from under his desk “Looks like we are done darling” said Jimmy. He zipped up and offered his hand. No one reached for it. The girl smiled and quickly left the room.
“Cristian, Lorelei and a very large friend carrying large bags? More gold?”
“Yes Jimmy, you look well.”
“You two haven’t changed, how is that?”
“Clairol Jimmy” Answered Lorelei “Sorry about your doorman Jimmy. He was rude and I am a little grumpy,” she said patting her belly.
“He walked over to the door to see the two men down on the ground.
“Did the big guy do that?”
“No Jimmy I did one,” said Lorelei. “Cristian did one”
“Hell hath no fury like Lorelei pissed off” Jimmy commented.
“Jimmy I have a shopping list. Here is what I am looking for. I know it will take you a while to assemble the items. There is a half-ton of gold.”
Jimmy went through the list. 3 triple mini-guns, micro rockets, smoke grenades and launchers. Cristian are you starting a war?” He said with a pause” Right you didn’t say.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“10% for the gold transaction and 10% for your shopping list. I can have everything in 30 days.”
Jimmy, I will need a truck with no numbers and a bogus plate. Oh and Jimmy no entanglements.”
“No entanglements Cristian. I will leave your change in the truck.”
The two downed men ran in with guns drawn. M2 disarmed them both with one quick movement and dropped the magazines on the carpet and cleared the rounds in the chamber of both guns. Then he handed the two men their guns back. Then he shook his head from side to side slowly.
“Gentleman these are my friends please apologize for your rude behaviour. “
The blood and broken nose apologized directly to Lorelei” I am sorry I was very rude.” Lorelei made a fast movement and flipped a braid backwards. The big man flinched and cowered a little.
“Sorry about your broken nose” She took a hanky out of a pocket in her dress and said, “You are still bleeding a bit, some ice will help that.”
“Thank you,” said the battered big man.
The other man glared at Cristian ready to go at him. Lorelei noticed and said. “I wouldn’t. He was the one who taught me to fight.” That changed his look immediately.
“I am sorry for my behaviour it won’t happen again,” said the other door guard reluctantly.
“My apologies for trying to push past you.” Cristian turned to face Jimmy.” See Jimmy we are all friends.” said Cristian.
“You two carry the bags down to the vault. M2 picked up his four bags easily and handed them to broken nose who could barely handle one of the bags. He was very thankful to be alive after this incident.
Later they would ask Jimmy “who were those people?”
“Those are the Wolfs, as you found out it’s best not to cross them.”
“Especially the little redhead she is lethal,” said the man with a swollen nose.
Thirty days later the Wolfs were back. Broken nose came out to the back alley and handed Lorelei an envelope with the keys.
”Let me look. Your nose is healing well, the bruising is almost gone.”
“Thank you for caring Mrs. Wolf. The ice helped. Watch out there are men in suits, they are looking for you and the weapons. The van is bugged Mrs. Wolf. I never said a word.”
“Thanks for the heads up.”
“Sweetie the van is being watched, check for electronics,” said Lorelei.
“M2 take the truck to the Cave. We will run cover.”
“Cristian there is a GPS device under the rear bumper,” said Watcher.
“Got it anything else?”
“There is also a bug under the ashtray in the cab.”
Cristian attached the Tracking device to a waste disposal truck in the back alley. He took the bug and threw it into a car with an open window.
“Watcher where are they?”
“They are hanging back depending on the electronics.”
“Fools.”
“M2 start rolling.”
“Lorelei hang on, it’s going to get bumpy” Said Cristian.“Watcher conversations out loud so Lorelei can hear what’s going on. Watcher, I think we need a UFO sighting in the middle of town.”
“Traditional saucer Cristian?”
“Absolutely let’s fly right down the centre of town and up the hill near all those ugly clonediminiums and then over to the reserve and up and over Mt. Paul. That should stop traffic and keep whoever is watching busy.
“Husband I love your thinking,” Lorelei said chuckling.
“M2 drive the speed limit to the warehouse. If you think you are being followed contact us. Use the burner phone. We will meet you there to load the Retribution.”
“Will do Cristian.”
“Cristian the imager is on you are in a flying saucer.”
“Perfect you fly Watcher and keep it erratic, with those stupid fast movements’ people think UFOs do. Send an anonymous call to the radio stations so everyone will be stopping to have a look.”
“Cristian this is better than the peace sign.”
“Yah Watcher I think so too.”
“Cristian you are so deliciously devious,” said Lorelei as she laughed.
“Thanks, wife. Have I told you how hot you look in braids?”
“Not yet.”
“I will.”
“Cristian M2 is at the warehouse and traffic is at a standstill all air traffic is grounded incoming flights have been diverted. M2 reports that he was not followed.”
“Watcher time for the grand finale. Duck behind the mountain look for hikers we want no witnesses.”
“We are clear.”
“Great let’s change to a blimp complete with a flashing light display that says. “Kamloops Best Rock is OUT OF THIS WORLD”. Now let’s take a low and slow flyby above the river and go invisible.”
“Cristian they will be talking about this for years. You are such a comedian Husband.” They were all laughing as hard as they could. It was good to laugh, things had been so serious lately.
They disappeared before the RCMP helicopter got to them and the two American F18 pilots re-purposed from a fuel stop at Abbotsford Airport. They took off as soon as they were fuelled and flew up to Kamloops at treetop level at over 1100 Mph to intercept Santa Claus. Code for Unauthorized E.T. flights.
Back at the warehouse, M2 loaded up the Retribution. Lorelei and Cristian went up to the house to talk to Arthur Clark III.
“Cristian, Lorelei what a nice surprise, I heard you would be along soon the delivery driver said you would.”
“Arthur, have you been maintaining the Camaro?”
“Yes Cristian, of course, the batteries are at full and the water tank is full, ready to run on electrics or hydrogen.”
“Where is the paperwork, Arthur?”
“I have it here, did you need the keys?”
“No do you have a pen?”
“Here.”
“The Camaro is yours Arthur” I don’t get here enough to drive it.”
“Are you serious?”
“There is one thing?”
“Name it.”
“The van in the warehouse I need it wiped down and dropped off at the back alley behind Jimmy’s Pawnshop with this note left on the dash.”
The note read
Jimmy I really don’t like entanglements clean this up and I won’t tell L that it was you that failed us
C
“Done Cristian.”
“Arthur don’t do this yourself, everybody wants this van. Some very bad people, with corrupt government ties. Whoever you send will be arrested and interrogated.”
“Understood Cristian and you were never here.”
“And we were never here.”
The flight back to the past was uneventful much to the disdain of both Husband and wife, who was forced to sit in Cristian’s lap the whole trip. Every square inch of the ship was crammed with equipment. M2 had taken out all the seats save Cristian’s.
He was sprawled near the ceiling somewhere wrapped around the gear.
When they arrived back at 1992 Cristian and Lorelei ran straight for their room as soon as enough gear was taken out, only stopping long enough to pet the cats who followed them into the room. It was good they couldn’t repeat what was said in that room. Husband and wife didn’t surface until the Retribution was empty.
When they came out all the equipment was in the lab and scientists were doing inventory.
“Stephen, did you get everything you needed?”
“I think it’s all here Cristian. How was the trip?”
“Mostly uneventful. Mostly.”
“M2 filled us in on the UFO/BLIMP sighting you certainly think quick on your feet.”
“Just did what needed doing Stephen. It was funny.”
“Albert almost fell on the floor laughing. The other scientists are still laughing about it.”