Wow

Its been a year since I committed words to the page of this blog. I have survived and walked away from a major accident. Now when I say walked away. I mean I climbed out of my vehicle now on fire, realized my neck and back were broken and layed down  on the ice of last December and started to make phone calls. One to take care of my animals another to 911. Then I proceeded to do what I always do at accidents, took charge made sure the other people were okay and directed them, all while laying on the ice hypothermic. Some will say I was going into shock. I wasn’t not my first accident. I was trained by the Canadian Armed Forces to do what I did.  (Go Navy)

I lost my rescue Beagle, thank God he was killed instantly and he did not have to suffer the extreme pain I have this last 10 months. I survived so many things spinal surgery, torture in the hospital by a psychotic nurse, Three failed attempts to repair broken vertebrae in my neck. Ignored complaints about my back and wrist. The insurance company toying with me not paying disability money. The government seizing the money that was meant to feed me while I recovered.

Unfookin believable and I thought the worst was my table saw going up in smoke.  Do I still plan on building my Tiny house ,you betcha. I still need a table saw. Now I need a welder.

As soon as I got out of the hospital, after a tortuous 45 day stay, I started searching for an old truck. I needed something to pull the tiny house. I found someone who had a 1955 first series Chevy pickup. After 57 calls, negotiating sessions, we made a trade, some Harley parts, my bike stand, my welder and some trinkets. I owned a truck. I had no idea how I was going to get it home. It was two hours away.

A good friend and my welder picked me up one day with his trailer away we went he had to do most of the heavy work. I could barley stand or even walk at that point. We tied down the truck and the parts and  after he bought me some lunch wee got the truck home.

It took me another six months of recovery and a wait for the snow to go to do any work on it. So far I managed to get it into my shop and get the cab off. I acquired a donor van for parts, which I am currently driving. I love the gas guzzling old girl. It will supply everything from a motor and tranny to seats and brake parts for the 55. When I get that far.

Right now I turned my big house into a tiny house. Out of necessity I closed off most of the big house. It’s all good practice for the tiny house house build. I built a loft to save on winters wood. I am cooking on a propane cook stove or my woodstove. I have no running water or electricity. I have two old solar panels and some almost wore out batteries.

Over the last ten or so months I have experienced death and near death. I have starved and had plenty. I managed to get through more attacks from own government. The government I swore to protect and serve during my time in the Military here in Canada. I survived the end of my Business. I survived a major car accident. I survived the death of three of my animals directly and indirectly a result of the accident. I survived 45 days of torture in the hands of people that were supposed to be giving care. I survived the pain of the three different attempts to repair the damage to my body. I survived just recently a fall on to frozen ground from ten feet landing on already damaged vertebrae. I have survived my Insurance company stalling and find excuses not to pay me so I can meet the simplest of needs. I survived running out of fuel for heat. I survived without food many times. I survived without drugs to kill the pain of the broken neck and back.

I survived. I survived. I survived.

I never once wanted to quit. I still do not. Do I know how I am to get through the next day and the next week or the next month, not a fuckin clue. Am I worried, not a chance. I find a way each moment each day and week, I don’t really mean me, I mean those around me. I had a logging truck load of wood delivered and donated. I had a visit from the Secret Angels society that brought me food when I needed it. I had rides into the hospital to make my follow up visits and again my emergency call after the fall the other day. All with the help of friends and a member of my family.

Now what I need to do is try to survive swinging a chainsaw to cut up the wood that was donated last winter.

What have I learned through all this? I learned to live with my pain, seven vertebrae broken only one repaired. I have managed somehow to keep my internet on. I have a vehicle running, mostly.

I still own my little ten acre piece of land. I can no longer work. I have been forced out of a career I didn’t want to do anymore. I still have a phone although I had to change companies at one point to keep going.

Everything I do now happens more slowly. I can only work for about an hour a day before my back gives out. I am okay with all of that. I have food now, I am living on mostly canned food. Which I order on-line from Walmart. I learned they deliver to my post office box for free.

That saves me money in fuel and I don’t wait in line ups with sick people coughing over my food.

I will eventually get the things I need to survive. My doctors tell me that the damage to my body is permanent. At my current rate of healing. I should be pain free in about ten years. I look forward to that. Especially since I don’t do pain killers, I don’t dull the pain with alcohol, or canabis and have no desire to go down that road.

I have learned how to survive with very little.For that I am thankful. I am thankful to those who have helped me in the last year and for those that caused me extra grief. Karma is a bitch baby and she is wearing heels.

You can read about the old truck on Peacegrove.ca .