It is wrong to expect a reward for your struggles. The reward is the act of struggle itself, not what you win.
Phil Ochs
Eighth day of the new year. I am not sure I have accomplished much except for the survival of me and the cats. The last count I have 34, I tell people I have 50 but that doesn’t matter, if you have more than 3 you are a crazy person. For me, they are a lot of work, they are destructive, but some are very lovey and keep me company since my world doesn’t have people in it.
Except for the people in tv series, the people I sometimes meet in the grocery store, the ones that haven’t succumbed to the rumors spread by the vicious people in my past. I hold on to the idea that Karma is a real thing and One day she will visit them.
There is Ed the man at the parts store who thinks wearing a mask in the face of corona is a communist plot, I really have no one. So the Cats are welcome.
The aches and pains continue. I seem to get new ones every day in new places. There are also persistent ones, way too many to mention. I live with them best I can and make many old man noises as I try to get out of bed or even out of my chair, and add a lot of swearing, Chopping wood and carrying wood is so ridiculously painful, I just find it amusing, at least until the pain becomes so unbearable I can’t move. Maybe Karma is real, and I was a total asshole in my last life. I know I don’t deserve it for this life contrary to the rumor mongers.
Read the beginning of Matthew 7. Try to understand the words.
I know the truth that the petty people causing me problems are really lacking in their own lives and need someone to beat down. Let them come, let them say what they will at least I know that while they are spending their hate on me, they are not on others.
Do I think that there is some reward for me at the end of this? Not really. Except knowing the cats and birds are fed for today. That is rewarding enough. The act is the reward. So many “Christians” are doing good deeds or pretending to get a better seat on the bus. In reality, they are purchasing the wrong ticket. My opinion of course.
Late in the afternoon now, I just went out to chop and gather snowmelt. My back is worse today. I noticed it has been getting worse the last few days. Throat pain is worse too.
The birds are fed, snow is melting on the woodstove, firewood is in. Thank God we are having warmer temperatures, for me, that’s less daily chopping.
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